Victorias Lapdancing Bar

Reviews about Victorias Lapdancing Bar

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  Frank Bolton Review added: 2018.09.11

  ★ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆
  I’ve been fortunate enough to have been able to travel extensively across both the UK and indeed the world. This has provided ample opportunity to experience ‘gentlemen’s’ clubs of many shapes, sizes, demeanour and indeed quality.
  
  Had you, prior to this weekend, asked me to describe the worst strip club experience I could possibly imagine I would have likely taken a sample from the multitude of learned experiences available to me. A visit to Manchester this weekend has however made answering such a question infinitely easier. In fact, the worst feasible strip club experience I could possibly have conjured up in my head would still pale in comparison to what we were subjected to at Victoria Lapdancing ‘Gentlemens’s’ Club, on Dantzic Street in Manchester.
  
  I will attempt to (briefly) summarise what we as a group experienced within 30 minutes before making a swift beeline for the exit:
  
  - As we were entering, an unrelated (and mildly inebriated) gentlemen was attempting to leave the club. As he did he accidentally bumped the bouncer on the way out who proceeded to shove said gentlemen so hard he almost fell hard on the pavement. After understandably protesting his treatment the bouncer replied with the words, and I quote: “Shut the f**** up mate or I’ll f***ing stab you”
  
  - Upon entry to the club we proceeded to purchase an alcoholic beverage. This was a 330ml bottle of Becks priced at an eye watering £8. If you are more inclined towards a single spirit and mixer this will set you back £8.50.
  
  - After jokingly protesting at the price of beverages one of our group was slapped hard around the face by one of the hostesses who had attached herself to us upon entry and refused to leave us alone despite stating we merely wanted to enjoy a cold (and overpriced) beer at this point.
  
  - Another of one of our group was also simultaneously slapped hard across the face for refusing an equally eye-wateringly overpriced private dance. Both of these events would technically have qualified as unprovoked assault under a strict interpretation of British law.
  
  - A very angry Mancunion woman (I am at pains to call this women a lady) who was either on some non-prescription medication (if you catch my drift) or simply requires some serious anger management classes proceeded to round us up and loudly berate and insult us for not wishing to immediately purchase a £300+ group private dance session.
  
  - After stating that being slapped, shouted at and insulted was not the vibe we were looking for that evening and suggested we might prefer to speak to some other women, we were called ‘jumped up gypsy c****s’.
  
  - At this point we sought to exit as quickly as humanely possible as receiving a lap dance from the woman in question had become as appealing as putting one of my bodily appendages in a blender.
  
  Whilst writing this review I have been trying to decide how best to sum up my experience of Victoria’s and I can only put it like this: This club clearly has absolute contempt for all of their clientele, their wellbeing, and their enjoyment, furthermore the pure and forcible extraction of your hard-earned money through anger, threats and coercion is clearly of paramount and unrivalled importance.
  
  This is single-handily the worst club experience I have ever had the misfortune of experiencing, anywhere in the world (which is saying something).
  
  I suggest you avoid this club like the plague, any positive reviews I can only assume are fake, and if you have the bravery (or stupidity) to test this out by spending 10 minutes inside, then Godspeed my friend, you're a braver man than I. For the record, Obsessions (on Whitworth Street) is owned by the same company as Victoria’s, so avoid both like you would a rabid dog on the streets of Bangkok.
  
  I highly recommend you walk 10 minutes up the street and visit Long Legs (on George Street) instead, for reasonably priced alcohol, reasonably priced dances, a relaxed vibe, and many other improvements over Victoria's of which I’m sure you can figure out yourself.

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